12.13.07
There are few things as challenging as forgiving someone; fewer still if the offender has not directly asked for our forgiveness. We often hold onto our anger over being hurt (or disrespected, offended, overlooked, you feel in the blank) believing somehow that we are punishing the offender for his or her actions. We revise the narrative of what they did wrong to us over and over again – sometimes out loud, and often in our heads -where the most damage is done. This dramatic habit grows untold resentments. Carrying anger around as a testament to you “being right” or as an indication of someone else “being wrong” is wasted energy. It doesn’t change the facts of what happened. Whether carried 12 years, 12 months or 12 days, in the end anger only cost the one holding it, not the one it is projected onto.
Perhaps the biggest challenge is not getting over what people have done to hurt us, rather accepting the exasperating fact that people, even those we love, have the potential to hurt us deeply by doing really stupid things. To live is to screw up somewhere, with someone over something hardly worth it. We’ve all done it, and the beat goes on. To be creatures who love, we must be creatures who can absorb the flawed nature of human beings. Confucius said “to be wronged is nothing unless you continue to remember it.” Choose to give someone the gift of forgiveness today. It is a gift that will perhaps relieve them, but certainly release you.
-neycha
Song to rock the concept:
Sorry for the stupid things
CD:
GROWN AND SEXY, Babyface
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